Monday, December 31, 2007

Last Roadtrip of 2007 Part 2

We found a spot where some people had parked and played in the snow… we knew there had to be a hill somewhere to sled down! So we grabbed our sleds and gloves and gear and hiked it, even hopping a barbed wire fence (yeah we’re dangerous like that) into uncharted (except for the footprints from the people before us) territory.

Deeper into the woods we trecked, cold and hysterical with laughter to fill the white silence. I made a snow angel and got shoved into the snow by my dear sister. Don’t worry I took her down with me and smooshed her face in the snow until I felt she was sufficiently drowned in it. Soon we came up to a crest and that ever familiar sound of screeching children.

And there it was. The holy grail of sledding. At least that’s what we thought at the time. Covered in children and their retarded parents, the hill was completely unsledable by us daredevils in our 20’s. Sure, we could have hit the slope but damn if it would have just been hilariously wrong to take out a huge group of kids like bowling pins.


Eearlier into the drive, we’d actually saw a sign that said “$10.00 per car sled all day pass”. So we decided it was worth chocking up the 10 bux. As we pulled up to the little ranger station that was taking our money, he informed us that there was only 25 minutes of sledding left but we were more than welcome to go if we still wanted to. We ended up handing over the last of our cash! headin’ for some sleddin’!

I suddenly realized I had to pee like there was no tomorrow so decided to pee in a port-o-potty. Yeah.., we all know how gross those can be. Well… these were like the f*cking gates to hell! I’m talking sh*t and tp everywhere. I can now safely say that I have mastered the Zen Art of Squatting. Yes that’s right, I squatted, not letting my bare skin touch anything inside the little coffin of sh*t. I tapped into my chi and used the force, to keep balance while I tinkled. And I stepped out… and said “now I know how the cats feel”

Yea Ynnej. CLEAN THE DAMNED LITTER BOX! Hehe. Just kidding.

So we hit the slopes! At first, I was scared outta my mind. I thought “dear god my fat ass is goin to kill people!” which it almost did but damn if it wasn’t for a good time! We chose a slightly bunny-esque slope to start on and worked our way to the more difficult [read: steeper scary as hell] slopes. Yllib was determined to try the biggest one and I was determined to say “F*CK THAT!” as he made his way up the mountain Ynnej and I took at seat at the bottom of the hill, watching as he climbed to the top.

He sat in his little sled and we screamed a cheer for his good name! He pushed off and flew down the mountain! We hooted and hollered our excitement as he flew at breakneck speed! And suddenly, he began to turn. The stupid saucer disc shaped sled turned him and led him into the hardcore rigid tricked out section of the mountain! He hit a bump and caught air! “OOOOHHH” everyone at the bottom of the hill moaned! He sailed through the air as he flipped only to land on his head.

Okay he landed on his back and ass but still. It was pretty hardcore! Hehehe Yllib sat for a moment, shook his head and headed toward us. A little dizzy, a little worse for wear… but damn if the boy wasn’t alive! We picked his stuff up, and headed down toward the cars just in time to hear “TIMES UP FOLKS! PACK IT UP AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Ynnej and I took one last slide down the cheesy bunny-esque slope and headed home.

The drive back was much of the same as the drive there, except for the insanity of traffic, Ynnej’s brief battle with the 511 traffic call center, the total sleepiness, the cleanest rest stop I’d ever seen, and a lot of Gatorade. We stood in line at a gas station in Anthem for almost 15 minutes for the bathroom which sadly was competitively dirty with the port-o-potty… and drove home listenin to Hotel California as we pulled into the garage.

All in all… it was a damned good last roadtrip of the year. Here’s to 2008’s adventures into … well just adventures.

0_o L

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