Sunday, June 29, 2008

selective informing

why has my little sister not told our (being hers and mine) friend Crystal that she's 5 months pregnant? Funny how that works right? I told Crystal because I thought my little sister had already told her only to find out ... she hadn't.

Sooo now crystal is infuriated and she feels totally abandoned by her so-called friend who's all of a suddenly stopped calling her. I.. feel like a heel stuck in the middle of this bogus situation. \

My mind's been all over the place. last week was horrifying for me.

BOYS COVER YOUR EYES!!!

PCOS is killin me. the new birth control meds have totally messed me up. I passed a blood clot on thursday and missed work due to the massive waves of nausea and pain that flooded my entire body and senses. turns out my body clotted which could have caused huge complications to my body. When i called my doc, her nurse said she'd pass on the message.

Friday I went into work and an hour into it, the symptoms started again. I passed a clot at work and cried for 10 minutes on the bathroom floor as the mass amounts of blood loss made me feel overly anemic. the dizziness was taking over. by lunch, I couldn't stop shaking, the blood had washed from my face, leaving me ashen and my lips blue. pain came in gushes as my body expelled more blood.

i tell my boss goodbye and wait for my manager. suddenly i'm hit with a flash of pain and to avoid a scene i bolt for the back of the office... to the breakroom. i sit.. and uncontrollably start crying. my body won't stop shaking. my manager finds me in a ball huddled in a corner. he takes me home. dizziness starts...

i barely get inside where i pass out. really.

i wake up hours later, with a splitting headache on my living room floor.

saturday, cramps and cleaning.

sunday, best friend comes over and we hang out. cramps, swimming, cleaning, and shopping.

friday night my co-workers went out. after witnessing my pain... i still get a text message at 10pm askin if i'm comin. i'm like... uhhh... no. no reply. whatever. jerks.

I've found that they are fairweather friends who only want to hang when its convenient to them. I don't want people like that to be my friends. they suck. whatever.

i'm sooo tired. bed time.

when did we incorporate the necessity of the frenemy?

is it so important to have people around that we settle for those who will tear us down behind our backs?

and .. when will we ever learn to be happy in our solitude?

time for some much needed "ME" time.

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