silver lining

with all that's happened... its amazing how we all continue on with our lives, living as if we have no choice. but we all have choices and we make the choice to be strong and push on if not for ourselves but for each other.

my sister had light contractions this morning.. but nothing severe. she'll be havin Ethan soon. I'm so excited that I cannot contain myself. I'll be an auntie again and cannot wait to hold the little bundle of joy in my arms. I'm always fearful of holding a newborn, as if i'd drop him on the his lil soft spot and the world would end around me. so ... I've backed off before but this time.. I will not!! I want to be at the hospital and I want to be there for my sister.

I'll be taking in my nephiew Eric's cat Ruby in while Ethan acclimates to his new life. Its just safer for him and the cat if the cat is with me. plus I live up the street so Eric and Emma can come visit Ruby at any time. :)

I took Eric to see the movie which was long drawn out and exquisite to the eye. its one of those films that makes you dream of myths and legends. I wish i were a mermaid. its amazing how that thought sprung from nowhere lol

he loved it. I took him to best buy and spent a crapload of money on silly things but he and I had a blast and thats what counts. I love him to bits. I know that now he means the world to me. As i can't see myself having children of my own I tend to spoil my sister's.

I saw Death Note last night with Del and his dad. I LOVE HIS FATHER!! he's awesome. silly and earthy. a true hippy. he's got some great stories. The movie probably would have been good if not for the emo/goth smelly chunky nerdfest that surrounded us with their ubernerd snide comments and giggles throughout the movies. and then there were the fat chicks sighing at the japanese actors who were maybe remotely goodlooking. it was frustrating. I hope to buy the movie and try again soon. the concept is amazing and I think this is one movie that if taken seriously... america can make it fantastic.



I got my test results from the Doctor today. turns out I have Polycycstic Ovary Syndrome. ;( its not life threatening but it makes life hell and now i know why i've been suffering for so many years. I go on the 31st for an appointment with Dr Woods to talk about treatment. there is no cure... but there is life after diagnosis. we'll see. I'm also goin to a lapband seminar that same day. I don't know. I'll see. I fear that if i do it... i'll only suffer. but .. i can't live like this anymore. i'm trapped in a body that is fucking healthy as a horse according to my test results except for the PCOS.

my blood pressure, glucose, blood sugar, cholesterol, cell count and so on were all perfect. it even freaked my dr out a lil. but... the weight will not go away with the PCOS. i'll still be an angry bitch with peach fuzz and depression if i don't fix it. so we'll see.

now.. i'm off to bed.

MY BOX

and no i dont mean the one between my thighs.

as i unload my storage into my apartment i realize that its just retarded that i own this much shit. not only did i downgrade from a condo to a small apartment for just me... but i'm a fucking packrat!! i never realized it as i do now going through each of these boxes. i have no life for the next few weeks because i need to go through it all and make sure i'm not keeping anything thats just sucking up space.

i've also come to the conclusion that men and women alike are equally retarded and we should resort to electroshock therapy to learn from our lessons.

I've also unpacked about 4 boxes (3 actually... i condensed 2 into 1) and i'm thinkin i just need to take it all burn it.

I helped sherry pack up some shit in her house as she's moving and she showed me her new place... further away north. ;( but its beautiful and she's so happy! so i'm glad for her. she and i both agree right now.. men suck. badly.

IRON MAN:

as i said earlier... i watched iron man this weekend. here's the deal. I am a freakin nerd and while i've never been one of those uber nerds that allow my nerdiness to ruin my love for cheesiness.... this time i didnt know what to do. Del and I sat through Iron man and first... i saw the new batman preview, the what happens in vegas preview the new narnia preview the new hellboy preview and the new indiana jones preview! plus a few others that didn't stick as well. ooohhh THE SPIRIT. thats gonna fucking rock your socks i promise.

okay so Ironman first of all... I expected some kind of wonderful. I sat through it.. laughed at robert downey jr and his hilariously snarky character (i hate that word... snarky) which he played brilliantly and then it kinda phizzled. i sat through all the special effects, the bombs the blowing shit up and finally decided i was unsatisfied. i walked out feelin numb and slightly cheated.

since everyone else in the freakin free world loved it, something must be wrong with me. I may have to see it again at bargain prices next weekend. we'll see. all I know is ... there's goin to be another one and i'm hoping that will be better.

but i had a blast with del and he's turning out to be a great friend. :)

save for a few emotional shopping trips, the moment i almost bought a lil kitty (NO!!!! I'm not even able to handle a litter box right now!) and me walkin around downtown phx smelling of cardboard and ass... it was an uneventful weekend. but... i had fun.

:p