Did he just ask me out or call me fat?

I received a response from THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD this evening.. which was so witty... i dont know how to respond back!

Yes Ms. Bubble head, I can perform and Im also mastered in those activities. Im surprised there is only 4, I usally do up to and exceed 50 requests including but not limited to, full body massage after work, cook gourmet meals with the option of serving it to you, beat up ex boyfriends or other non likables, change the oil on your car, clean the microwave, and pick up feminine hygene products on the way home. They just dont hand out the Champion of the World title to any yahoo with a falace. It takes guts, determination, and extra human strength, thats just to brush your teeth as the Champ. Well needless to say the wolverine and wolf didnt stand a chance so Im moving up to lions and chimps.

how in the hell do i even respond to that!!

Mr. Of-the-world,

but where are those ever elusive references??

lol what can i do for you?

how does that sound?

Not Dead Yet

so the whole fiasco with the dumping and the breaking of my heart kinda made me really really angry toward men and their lovely game playing ability. I've decided that I'd no longer be lil miss nicenice.

If they want game playing ... then they're about to fuck with the champ. so i'm back on POF. good times. but this time I'm back to just hang around. I'm not looking for Mr. anything at all. I'm just there to hang out.

but once in a while I'll probably get an email from a wayward guy mezmerized by my cheesy ass profile.

So here's what my profile says about me. at first .. i tried a few other routes... fancy, mysterious, hilariously cheesy, endearing... it was all bullshit. this was the final try and it was me being me.

this damned Imeem thing will probably change like every damned day. lol I love music.

man. I've changed this profile like three times within the last 20 minutes. I'm usually a part of the group at the bar thats laughing so hard you think we're stinkin drunk when in fact, we haven't even ordered yet.

I'm a punk by nature not just by music. I'm eclectic. Everything from dance to industrial. I loooove surf music and rockabilly though. thats my thing. I don't expect you to love it. Just accept that its in my life and on my itunes. Just like if you listen to polka I'll only make fun of you behind your back. :p just kiddin. stop crying. nothin wrong with polka *snicker*

two words. GO CHARGERS! nuff said.

I rock at wii boxing and am the queen of oldschool castlevania. if you know what i'm talkin about.. then you're gold. GTA4 makes me drool.

I'm all about going to see bands play live and gettin a drink while doin it. I love good food and seeing movies. Stayin home and veggin on the couch is definitely a great past time too. See... Its all a matter of whats goin on that day.

friends are good. maybe something more... who knows.

what do you think?

so i get this message from this guy. and before I read it... i always check out their profiles. Here's what his says..

About Me:
Well let me start by saying Im the Champion of the World. That is an official title that I won since I was 18 which is the legal age to participate. I know every martial arts and can no longer teach because Im soo leathal the cops dont want everyone to know it. I stopped keeping track of my money so I hired a team of mathmaticians from Yale to count it(there still not sure how much I have). I gave Bin Laden a wedgie back in 93. I been to the moon probably more times than you been to Circle K and actually built one there. Pres.Bush named the preemptive strike after my fists "Shock and Awe". Im totally awesome and buff, plus I rock pretty hard.
First Date:
Well once you wake up from fainting after you see how good looking I am, I would actually carry you for the rest of the evening thats how strong and fast I am. There is a super secret restraunt only for the coolest people in the world to dine at so we would go there first. If your still alive after being in such presense I would carry you off to watch a cage fight. After that we would go to my palace, thats if your FBI background check comes back clean, and show you my house of trophies in the back of my palace. Than play video games for the rest of the night.

I about died laughing. Either he's naturally hilarious or that took him days to write. ready for the email he sent me?

hey whats up its me, the Champion of the World, I know I get excited when I hear that myself sometimes. Anyway, I have a cage fight tonight with a wolverine and a wolf but after that I was wondering if I could make your dreams come true, unless you like the nightmare your living, thats cool too. Hit me back

yeah.

and for my reply... HEHEHEHEHEHE

Dear Mr. of-the-world;

I'd like to thank you personally for contacting me with your request for an interview. I'd first like to say that not only are your qualifications outstanding but your cage match ability puts you right up there with the rest of the cabana boy applicants.

I do however have a few questions...

1. have you ever mixed a drink in your life?
2. can you handle a large palm branch to fan me at any given moment?
3. can you dance?
4. do you have any experience with the ancient art of suntan oil application?

Please answer the above questions, and submit two personal and two professional references. Thank you for your interest in the Yasamin Foundation.

Yasamin
Founder and most exultant grand poobah.

Yeah.. I'm good like that. ;p

angry and alone. again.

i've been dumped by the guy i was falling for and trying to deny it. he avoided me for days then i finally asked him whats up. he told me it was over.

why am i crying?

i should be okay with this. but i feel like he used me to kill time while he was trying to figure his shit out.

oh my god i'm soo angry. soo incredibly angry.

so here I am again. alone.

in my apartment.

alone.

fuck men fuck dating and fuck this.

i'm soo over the pain.

and the fasting has ended

DUUUUUUDE. ;p

did you miss me? yeah. right. first of all I should tell you that this is the last time I'll be mentioning my asshat of an ex roommate (the child molester). He apparently fucked with the settings on my stupid internet connection network thingamuhjig and for the past month, I've been unable to connect to anyone's internet here at the new place.

I have a pal named Eddie who makes me laugh (and kinda blush) who came over tonight and fixed it. He's freaking awesome. I'm back. and no, I'm not leaving you again. I'm like that asshole fairweather dead beat dad that only shows up when he's in town and his plans fall through.

well that's changing. this baby shall be nurtured and loved and ... bathed. because it smells. hah

so we catch up later. there is much surfing and catching up to do. also... I've started writing again and I can't tell you the idea because its too hot and the world might steal it and oh shit i think I've discovered a freaking diamond in the rough. just pray for me. My writing career [read:life] needs this.

goodnight!

its moving day and tom green has his own county?? WTF?

so today's moving day. I'm throwing everything in force flex trash bags because i'm too lazy to search for boxes for a move up the street. its a nice apartment with locks on the doors and no sex offenders as roommates. I'd say its a step up. heh!

Del's comin to help move since he's bored outta his mind. thank god. i was afraid i'd have to do this shit by my self man!

and mind you i have no internet there so unless i suckle the internet teet of someone elses wireless setup, this may be the last update in a while. lets hope that's not the case. heh.

so i check my email and download a new yahoo messenger because i'm a sucker for beta testing [read:retarded] and see this story about 52 young girls taken out of another polygamist cult compound in texas. mind you most humans would be saddened by what these girls go through. me?? i read half way through it and start laughing hysterically when i read that its in Tom Green County.

TOM GREEN has a county in texas???

HAHAHAHAHA

okay back to packing and moving.

Lifted.

its been a bit. I haven't had the heart or soul to kick some ass on this blog. I thought I'd be able to give myself new rules and rock this thing in a whole new light. but you know What I realized? That's not how I function.

I'm not the rules and regulations type. I'm not the conform and clean up type. I wanted to make this blog a success but I realized... I've been going through so much that my mind hasn't been willing to take the mental responsibility for this thing. I had originally wanted this thing to be something that was witty, intelligent, silly, my life. but then i realized that my life hasn't been any of those things. its been horrible and downtrodden.

It was time to fess up and face the reality of the shithole that my life had become.

A year later. I realize that there was no way in hell nick and I could have ever survived. I miss him so much. I miss his friendship. I miss loving someone so completely; blindly. I miss his stupid laughter and the common interests that I haven't been able to share with anyone else. Now, now I've taken a moment to mourn the relationship that was built on a sinking boat. it went down in a ball of flames and now... i'm barely picking myself back up again, wondering if he's out there... loving someone else, happy. it breaks my heart to think about it.

and arthur. I feel for him. I like him alot. But i find myself stopping before I slip and say "I LOVE YOU." because I don't want to mislead him. I'd hate for him to think I love him with all my heart when I don't even think I'm capable of love anymore. Not now at least. I care for him. I love spending time with him. I love laughing with him. But i'm not ready. I know this. and I've told him. and I know he's falling. What the fuck do i do!?

and Jenny. I love her. She's my little sister even though we don't share a drop of common blood. I worry for her. but now... I realize I no longer trust her. i've written her off from my life. I hang with her, I laugh with her, but I don't trust her. No more. She hurt me so incredibly that I want nothing more to do with her bullshit lies about her life and herself and worst of all.. others. I wish i could be okay with her. I wish i could forgive. I'm probably going to hell for this but that's the price my soul cannot seem to face. She's buried herself in a pit of snakes and I've no real urge to dig her out anymore. That is no longer my job.

Work. I complain and bitch and moan.. but i love it. I love my patients and my work. I love everything about it. even those grumpy moments when danielle decides to be a bitch to me. Her hubby Mike works with us now. I don't think she likes the fact that he and i laugh and laugh like idiots together. I think she feels left out. I can't help if she takes life too seriously. She has no mentality for happiness. I make stupid jokes.. he laughs. He sneaks up to the desk as a ninja and i laugh. its mutual. and its only a friendship. There is nothing else there and I can honestly say that without feeling any type of guilt that it might be a lie. He's a good friend. better than her. and she hates that fact.

Paul. He sickens me. as a 16 year old, 25 years ago, he blew his 12 year old cousin and called it a mutually enjoyable relationship. I called it child molestation. he and i don't see eye to eye. he fucked with my little sister's life and my life. then he blamed me because he lost jenny. in all honesty, I blame myself for all of this drama because even though my instinct told me renting from him was a huge mistake, i did it anyway when she said it would be cool. i folded like a house of cards and fucked myself royally.

But everything happens for a reason. if it were not for him, Jenny's lies wouldnt have all come to fruition. we wouldnt all know that she's got an issue that really needs attention. she can't stop lying. and it also taught me a huge lesson.

Its time to grow up and deal with my past. pay my bills. settle my debt, finances, life's ledger. I've been frantically searching for a room to rent and sherry emailed my an apartment ad for a complex near my work. i applied not thinking I would even be qualified. well low and behold, I qualifed but they wanted a huge down. I scrimped every penny I have together and asked for a cash advance at work.

They made me wait almost three freakin days for an answer but it was well worth it. they've granted it to me and now... I'm moving out of this psychopath's house and into my own place.

Full Circle.

so thats that. thats where i stand. now.. you are completely caught up. maybe now.. I'll really update this damned thing and treat it right. its my journal. not some fucking circus to entertain and follow the guidelines of good blogging. its my brain split open and displayed to show you where I stand in life. Lets keep it that way shall we?